Walking Free of Unhealthy Psychological Dependence

In our last blog, The Perils of Unhealthy Psychological Dependence, we talked about the nature of unhealthy psychological dependence on others and how to know if you are suffering from the signs of such dependence. We also talked about the consequences of having someone that dependent upon you, including emotional exhaustion.

We continued the discussion in my podcast by the same title in which we reviewed how such unhealthy dependence develops and why. In addition, we touched on some steps to walking free of such dependence and learning to be "healthily interdependent" in which there is give and take both ways. In healthy interdependence, each partner is able to make important life decisions on their own and erect appropriate boundaries such that no one gets taken advantage of in the relationship.

To walk free of being overly dependent on others means taking daily steps to combat the underlying nature and beliefs laid down over year...

We all know that humans are naturally social creatures. This means for our own emotional wellbeing, we must connect with others. Problems arise, though, if our reliance and need for others shifts from healthy interdependence -- where there is give and take both ways -- into unhealthy psychological dependence which can lead to emotional distress and damage to important relationships. Understanding these perils, then, is crucial to fostering healthier, more balanced relationships and improved emotional functioning. 

What Is Unhealthy Psychological Dependence? 

Since we're talking about unhealthy dependence, it's probably helpful to first define it. Unhealthy psychological dependence happens when one person comes to excessively rely on another for emotional stability, self-esteem, decision-making, or even their personal sense of identity. While seeking support from friends and loved ones is natural, an over-reliance on someone else can create a dynamic that is unsustainable and often ha...

GUILT: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Today, we're talking about guilt: what it is and what it isn't. All emotions are a biological call for action, which is to say that emotions are intended to drive us to take some form of protective action. For example, anger is intended to help us push away (or push back) something that is so offensive that not only do we reject it, but it raises to such a level of objection that we're willing to fight about it. Love, on the other hand, is an emotion that pulls us toward a person or thing for greater exposure and interaction. Fear, on the other hand, is designed to cause us to flee from something potentially dangerous. So, what is the biological call for guilt? I wanted to address guilt because guilt is such a powerful and ubiquitous emotion and one that is often so misunderstood. The biological call for guilt is to stop us in our tracks.

Guilt arises when some action we're taking pricks our conscience or our internal guide that tells us when we...